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You might be looking for reasons but there are no reasons The sun stopped shining for me is all The whole story is I m sad I m sad all the time and the sadness is so heavy that I can t get away from it As my first Nina LaCour book, I thoroughly enjoyed Hold Still Caitlin is left reeling after the suicide of her best friend Ingrid when she discovers Ingrid s secret diary she finds a way to be close to her again Through her diary she discovers a side of Ingrid she never knew, full of secrets and pain Caitlin has to find her way through the darkness, to discover to how live without her best friend.Told with heart breaking honestly, this book was a fascinating and realistic portrayal of teen suicide, and what it is like for those left behind, and how they can move on This includes family, friends, teachers suicide affects so many lives and this book shows that in a heartfelt way.A quick read, that flicks between Caitlin s perspective, and the diary entries from Ingrid s I enjoyed this book and would recommend itI imagine they are issues we share A pervasive feeling that something is missing Darkness Vacancy An Arresting Story About Starting Over After A Friend S Suicide, From A Breakthrough New Voice In YA Fiction Dear Caitlin, There Are So Many Things That I Want So Badly To Tell You But I Just Can TDevastating, Hopeful, Hopeless, Playful In Words And Illustrations, Ingrid Left Behind A Painful Farewell In Her Journal For Caitlin Now Caitlin Is Left Alone, By Loss And By Choice, Struggling To Find Renewed Hope In The Wake Of Her Best Friend S Suicide With The Help Of Family And Newfound Friends, Caitlin Will Encounter First Love, Broaden Her Horizons, And Start To Realize That True Friendship Didn T Die With Ingrid And The Journal Which Once Seemed Only To Chronicle Ingrid S Descent Into Depression, Becomes The Tool By Which Caitlin Once Again Reaches Out To All Those Who Loved Ingrid And Caitlin Herself How amazing it is to find someone who wants to hear about all the things that go on in your head You just think that things will stay the way they are You never look up, in a moment that feels like every other moment of your life, and think, Soon this will be over Caitlin and Ingrid were best friends They were practically inseparable, sharing a love of photography, music, laughing at themselves and others One night they were talking about their futures, and the next morning, Ingrid was dead, having committed suicide.Ingrid s death shakes Caitlin at her very foundation Ingrid didn t leave a note, but Caitlin realizes there were so many times where she should have said something to Ingrid when she noticed her erratic moods, her cutting herself, her crying jags Could she have saved her friend When school resumes in the fall, Caitlin has to navigate her way without Ingrid for the first time She s a jumble of emotions anger, loneliness, guilt, grief and doesn t like being an object of curiosity to her classmates, who want to know how Ingrid killed herself and whether she left a note Even their favorite photography teacher treats her like a pariah.Then Caitlin finds Ingrid s journal under her bed, where Ingrid presumably left it for her to find As she reads Ingrid s words, she begins to understand clearly just how troubled her friend was, how she struggled to find self worth, tried to will the boy she liked to reciprocate her feelings, and how she wanted Caitlin to understand what she was feeling but was afraid she d treat her differently or worse, not want to be friends with her Maybe there is no right thing to say Maybe the right thing is just a myth, not really out there at all Nina LaCour s exquisite, emotional debut novel, Hold Still , chronicles Caitlin s first year of living without her best friend It is a year of trying to comprehend this loss, wanting to lean on people yet not wanting to let anyone else in or be vulnerable, and a year of understanding there was little that could have been done to prevent Ingrid s death It s a story about how to find the strength to move on, to identify rays of hope again, and realize that making new friends isn t betraying the memory of the one you lost.This book is also a tremendously candid look at the effects a suicide has on the lives of those left behind From parents to friends to teachers to crushes, everyone is affected in some way, and LaCour beautifully explores the range of emotions and actions that are caused by such a tragedy I expected this book to make me cry and it certainly did, but it wasn t as maudlin as I feared it might be it is powerful and immensely poignant.I ve been a fan of LaCour s writing since reading You Know Me Well , a book she wrote with David Levithan, a few years ago Last month I read We Are Okay , and was again captivated by her tremendous storytelling ability She is a writer whose work you really need to read, for its beauty and its emotional power.On the off chance that someone reading this review is in crisis or having suicidal thoughts, please know that there are people standing by to listen to you and help you Please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800 273 8255, the Trevorlifeline for LGBTQ Youth at 866 488 7386, or if you are in the U.S., you can text HOME to 741741, which will reach the Crisis Text Line.See all of my reviews at itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com.Check out my list of the best books I read in 2018 at You can follow me on Instagram at When I read Thirteen Reasons Why and complained about the believability of the story, several people came up to me and said, Read Hold Still instead It took me a few years, but I never forgot about the book recommendation Finally, here I am, I ve read the book, and I gladly join the group of people who tell you to read Hold Still instead.Whereas Thirteen Reasons Why lacked in depth for me, there s plenty of it in Hold Still One evening, Caitlin and Ingrid are talking about their futures, and Ingrid says,I ll go wherever you goThe next day, Ingrid is dead, having committed suicide, and leaves a devastated best friend behind This is where the book starts, which is a really powerful beginning it is a true portrayal of raw grief it is sad and depressing and it makes you feel as numb as Caitlin does.The hardest, but also the most interesting, parts were when Caitlin read through Ingrid s journal entries, and we slowly get a feel of Ingrid s struggle over the years, of the way she was terrified of losing her mind, of her depression and her hesitation to inform her friend about this Caitlin was or less clueless she knew about the cutting and the depression, to a certain extent But she didn t know about the pills, or Ingrid s raw thoughts that resonated so deeply with me If only she d confided in Caitlin, maybe things would have worked out differently That s probably the part that hurts the most You might be looking for reasons but there are no reasons The sun stopped shining for me is all The first part of the book vividly shows the journey of a teenager as she deals with grief and suicide Caitlin s actions feel numb and automatic, she hides and pushes everyone away, she leaves her parents baffled as they try to be there for their hurt daughter Slowly, though, we see a beginning change in Caitlin The overall tone of the book is sad, but there s also that notion that change can be beautiful, and that s where the beauty of the novel lies.This isn t an exciting, eventful tale there s not a lot going on Yet there s so much happening, although most of it is inside of Caitlin as she learns how to deal with the shock, as she finds her best friend s journal, as she finds a new friend at school, as she grows closer to the popular boy, as she builds a tree house, as she learns to find comfort in her photography There is tremendous growth in Caitlin as the story progresses, which is beautiful to behold, until eventually, there is acceptance.There s only one point of issue for me, and that s that I wanted I wanted of Ingrid, of her journal entries, so I could get inside her head the way I was inside Caitlin s Having said that, it still felt incredibly real, and what we got from Ingrid was believable and good.I m not an expert on mental health books, but I know this is a good one It s poignant, evocative, and illustrious, and does the subject justice Definitely a story that will linger. this new cover is one of the most beautiful things i have ever laid eyes on what a masterpiece. Book 1 for Summerathon Read a book while drinking your favorite summer drink I really enjoyed Hold Still and managed to read it in less than a day because it was such a quick read However, while I enjoyed it, I also kind of thought it would move me a little Nonetheless, I still highly recommend you check it out instagram my blog twitter I love the cover pets book Isn t it just gorgeous I think I had such a good feeling about this book for such a long period of time, that I was bound to be disappointed in some way or the other Don t worry, though It had some very redeemable qualities.The premise.Caitlin s best friend, Ingrid, committed suicide The thing is, the two were pretty much inseparable Both were exceptional at photography, and it was this talent of theirs which I enjoyed being explored in the novel Their passion towards taking on something they so loved, the spur of the moment pictures they often took, was just so wonderful and inspiring to me They didn t go out of their way to make friends Everyone knew to leave them alone But now that Ingrid is no longer with her, apart from grieving, she is left with this confusing shame and guilt, with parents she does not want to let in, with a teacher who was kind to them both all year around but now pretends she does not exist That s a whole lot to take on for a teen If I m to talk about Caitlin herself Well, she s not very likeable, I suppose She s often rude and insensitive, but there s a lot of character growth towards the end, so I couldn t hold a grudge Especially after all that she s been through.There is the skater boy from her school, though Taylor He s sweet, and curious He gives her space, but is always there to let her know that he s than willing to be there for her when she s ready to let him in He comes across as kind, patient and understanding He is everything she needs now and in the near future But with all that s going on, is that even possible The writing is quite simple, and the characters aren t the most developed out there But I do think the book gives you enough to at least keep you intrigued by a few of them Ms Delani, Ingrid, Dylan Henry were those characters for me HOLD STILL had some definite highlights for me And those would be the lovely illustrations and the diary entries When you read those entries, it s actually creepy how real Ingrid seems to you How clear her voice rings through your ears And what s so damn sad about her is the sheer knowledge of knowing that she is dead Of knowing how sad and lost she is It s hard not to tear up Especially her last entry, I just chocked up Yes, I wasn t loving it during the first half, but gradually I saw clear improvement during the second The emotional reaction I had to the book make me tear up and you ve made an impression already and the last 30 pages or so, that were just so fantastic, were enough to add on that extra star and make up for the shaky beginning.And hey, am I the only one who is curious about Henry Not many seem to mention him, but I doubt he was acting so shifty throughout the book without reason Maybe I m just over analysing here and there is no reason for his behavior, but he just seems so sad Although it s only until a certain moment that it becomes clear that there s to him It wasn t until she sat with him on that fountain, that a random thought occurred and yes this might be absurd view spoiler But I thought for a second And it was a quick, random thought I thought, OHMYGOD , he was in love with Ingrid hide spoiler My advice Listen to a really, really sad Daughter song while reading the final 20 pages My heart feels like it s been shredded by a cheese grate rtc, I need a moment to gather my thoughts and to know what I actually want to say instead of just writing a love letter to Nina LaCour in which I express how eternally grateful I am to have discovered her for myself Me Maybe I should read something happy for once My brain Here is another book about loss Me Yes why not. I loved everything about this book from the beautiful front cover to the utterly heartbreaking storyline From the back cover we learn that this is the story of Caitlin, a young girl in high school dealing with the aftermath of her best friend Ingrid s suicide and the discovery of Ingrid s journalI am a girl ready to explode into nothing The subject matter is carefully and thoughtfully dealt with I was completely drawn into Caitlin s world and experienced all the confusion, anger and loss along with her One of the profound moments in the book for me was when Caitlin ran into Ingrid s brother and girlfriend and the awkwardness and grief at meeting them while she was out at a social activity with new friends It broke my heart This book really did just leave me floored At many instances I was left a blubbering mess for example,My best friend is dead, and I could have saved her It s so wrong, so completely and painfully wrong, that I walked through my front door tonight smiling How hard it must be to lose your best friend and then have to somehow keep living and to not be too hard on yourself when you can still experience the joys of life while they are no longer hereI walk to school as dawn breaks I m awake and alert, numb and exhausted I never knew I could be all these things at the same time, but here I am, headed to school, eyelids heavy, breathing in the cold air However the greatest insight we got into Ingrid s life and into her depression was through her journal which she had left for Caitlin to find under her bedDear today, I spend all of you pretending I m ok when I m not, pretending I m happy when I m not, pretending about everything to everyone Love, Ingrid .my words really can t enhance this I was just left in a puddle of tears This was a beautiful read that sensitively dealt with the topic of mental illness and suicide I loved the language of the book, I loved the illustrations created by Mia Nolting that were used throughout, I was completely moved by Caitlin s and Ingrid s stories Read this book with a box of tissues Four heartbroken stars. So I finished Hold Still by Nina LaCour.Rating 4 5 This book basically follows two friends i e Caitlin and Ingrid, who are best friends for a long time They both have enjoyed their life to the fullest and had many memories.But Ingrid was keeping something from Caitlin due to which she ended up committing suicide.The story follows Caitlin, how she dealt with her best friends deathIt was really emotional and I literally had tears in my eyes.It was kind of slow for me but I enjoyed it.