Free ePUB Don't Tell Mum I Work on the Rigs, She Thinks I'm a Piano Player in a WhorehouseAuthor Paul Carter –

A Take No Prisoners Approach To Life Has Seen Paul Carter Heading To Some Of The World S Most Remote, Wild And Dangerous Places As A Contractor In The Oil Business Amazingly, He S Survived, To Tell These Stories From The Edge Of Civilization, And Reason

10 thoughts on “Don't Tell Mum I Work on the Rigs, She Thinks I'm a Piano Player in a Whorehouse

  1. says:

    David Sederis would kill for this material, thought he d probably be killed getting it which would mean no book That would be unfortunate if Sederis was writing it Carter, meanwhile, demonstrates that great material does not great writing make Which is too bad, because there is some truly great material in here.

  2. says:

    First, know what you re getting here Not an indictment of the oil industry or anything like that A series of amusing tales related to working on oil rigs in some pretty wild locations.It s compulsively readable Sort of like I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell except you don t get that feeling that the author is trying to explain how awesome he is at any point There are shit stories, than one story about a monkey although if we re going to get picky, one story is about an orangutan, which is a great ape as opposed to a monkey, a distinction that is as stupid as it is pointless and only serves to cause people who like to prove how smart they are to correct their friends on something that does not need to be corrected After all, how important is the exact taxonomy of an animal when the story is about how it threw feces on the glass at the zoo It s interesting to me that this kind of entertainment is often called juvenile If you tell a story about crapping your pants, that story falls into the juvenile category just by nature of the fact that it s about pants crapping Which really makes no sense.What makes a story about crapping one s pants as an adult funny is the fact that the person is an adult If you wrote a book about your infant crapping himself on an airplane, who would be amused by that I could see literary tension from a book about an infant that DID NOT crap itself on a transatlantic flight First it s no big deal, then there s concern about what s building up in there, and by hour 5 things have escalated to sheer panic at 30,000 feet, waiting for the bomb That s some Hitchcock stuff right there.Frankly, I think that shit stories are for grown ups I really do You know what s for kids I was sitting at a bar reading this very book, and I overheard what must have been a first date happening next to me So, are you a religious person Well, yeah I mean, not like going to church and stuff This is going to sound really crazy, but I think the Native American religions are the ones that speak to me the most That doesn t sound crazy at all, actually I don t actually know that this was a first date, but I have my suspicions because that s the only reason I can imagine tolerating someone saying that they are into Native American religions Not that those are total bullshit or anything, for all I know, but isn t that like saying, Oh, I believe in Asian religions Doesn t Native American religion encompass a wide range of beliefs that would be difficult to condense into a single vision Isn t there probably a bigger difference between most of them than there is between Catholics and Christians THEY PROBABLY DON T EVEN HAVE THE SAME GUYS RUNNING SHIT Not to mention that she sounded bored with her own answer, and then the subject was quickly dropped So this line of talk got them exactly nowhere.Anyway, what I m saying is that this is what passes for ADULT conversation, even though I can t imagine that either of them was really enjoying this exchange Now, it takes a special person, but if someone on a date told me their most heinous shit story, I could almost guarantee that I d be into her than someone who explained to me the wise ways of non specific non mainstream religions That s boring I can read about that if I want to, and as I approach 30 I ve become closed minded enough to believe that if I m really interested in something, I WILL investigate it On the other hand, nobody can just read a book about the time when I was 7 and crapped myself at the Grand Canyon And I guarantee I can talk about that with far interest and verve than I could any sort of philosophy I want to be entertained by other adults I don t mean it s a Dance Monkey, Dance kind of situation Just that when talking to someoneWhen meeting adults, they ask So, what do you do WHO GIVES A SHIT THAT TELLS ME NOTHING ABOUT YOU Tell me about the time you fell into a ditch while attempting to see some fireworks Tell me about the time you embarrassed yourself at a wedding by accidentally collapsing a folding table Tell me about the last terribly awkward social situation you were in That s fun Even if I don t end up being friends with you long term, at least we killed that 5 minutes with fun instead of explaining what an accounting assistant does at Stucco Rite inc.It s a weird argument, I know But in all honesty, I think it s grown up to tell a story about peeing your pants than it is to explain how you modernized the spreadsheet as we all know it.

  3. says:

    The author and narrator was irritating and just seemed to be about fighting and macho activities If you like this you ll love the book Despite that,towards the end I began to warm to him Also he is a good storyteller Hence 3 stars Otherwise for irritation I would have given him 5 out of 5

  4. says:

    This book was one hell of a lot of fun To put it simply it is the story, told in his own words, of a young man who started working on oil rigs when in his 20 s and was is still doing so in his thirties.Now that sounds like it has the potential to be grim reading, it was the title that drew me to this book Nothing with that title could lack humour surely In this rare case, judging a book by it s cover worked really well The stories span rigs allover Asia, in Russia, Africa and the Middle East The stories are often hilarious, occasionally scary and without exception fascinating The characters that Paul Carter has met around the world are vividly described and often as hilarious, scary and fascinating as the series of extraordinary adventures that this young man s life has consisted of.Now, oil rigs right I knew almost nothing about them before reading this except for signing a lot of petitions to try and prevent going up I never gave much thought to the kind of people who worked on them, or how they operated In the respect of the people working on them, this book was quite enlightening While I can t honestly say I know all that much about how the rigs work there are diagrams if you feel you want them but the narrative does not really demand too much of you The stories are about the lifestyle than the job and really, that is ok by me This book is great fun to read, it would be sad if the fun had been spoiled by the environmental reality around the rigs themselves Though I did really appreciate the Epilogue in which the author gives us his perspective on the matter.More than anything else this is a fun series of stories, told in matter of fact language much like I imagine the author would tell them over a few beers, if you were lucky enough to go drinking with him , about travelling around the world I love travel stories, and these are travel stories unlike any other ones I have ever read.Lots of fun, I do recommend.

  5. says:

    My mother laughed uproariously throughout this book, then thrust it into my hands and said, You must read this When she saw that I was planning to read it on the train, she was worried You might laugh too much.There are some hilarious points to this book, one of them involving a clever monkey and a key, others involving boyish hijinks on an oil rig There are serious points too such as what accidents can happen on a rig but Carter makes this a light hearted, fun read Following the oil action around the world, he comes into contact with remote tribes, guns and what being stuck on a rig for a small period of time can do to you such as becoming friends with spiders He also experiences the traveller s worst nightmare dysentery at 30 000 feet There are some serious points, such as the downside to relationships when you re stuck in a remote area of the world and accidents in the Aussie Outback.For those who are worried that the vagaries of oil rigging may be beyond their knowledge, Carter provides a helpful diagram and brief explanations not that you need it, because the laughter is pouring out just like, dare I say it, an oil strike This is simple, fast read perfect for standing out in a crowd because everyone will be wondering what on earth you re laughing about.

  6. says:

    Probably the funniest read I ve had all year Including memes which tickle me exactly right.

  7. says:

    A hilarious collection of stories you d want to hear told in the pub In fact reading it felt like that than getting immersed in a book Genuinely laugh out loud funny, I finished it in an afternoon It s not subtle, cleverly written or a literary masterpiece What it is though, is funny as fuck You truly couldn t make up the stories he has to tell Outrageous.

  8. says:

    I need a new face because after reading this book I laughed mine off I loved every single story Pauli shared in this book and i really liked the authenticity he used to describe the oddest scenarios Simple but extremely effective, my favorite way of reading.

  9. says:

    I enjoyed it I could relate to some of the stuff mentioned in the book.

  10. says:

    I picked up this book simply because it obviously has an awesome title.Anyway Since I was little I read books than any kid probably should I would go through approximately 5 per week hey, I do live in a country where it rains a lot you know and I always found that reading was an excellent way to go places without, you know, actually going places This book took me places I most definately would never want to actually go to, even if it s just because, you know, I would actually like to keep all of my limbs The author describes insanely dangerous and dangerously insane situations, and laces a bemused kind of humour through them that found me laughing out loud several times It s a fun read, of a life that will most likely have absolutely nothing in common with your own and how enlightening that is I know jack shit about the oil trade, and this book is not designed to teach you about all its ins and outs, but it doesn t matter The only negative thing here is that the book didn t seem to have much of an ending It just sort of stopped, but didn t seem finished or rounded off After an enjoyable time reading it, that left me feeling a little unsatisfied.